There is an old saying that goes "When a son or daughter gets married, you're not losing a child; rather, you are gaining a new son or daughter." Well - having just watched my eldest daughter Gabrielle walk down the aisle, I can tell you this adage completely sugarcoats the situation. Yes, I do have a wonderful new son-in-law - but I still lost my baby girl, AND my dog.
I need to rewind the clock about seven years to explain. When my daughter was 16, she asked if she could have a dog of her own. In our household, we had always had "family pets" until that time. But she wanted a little dog to snuggle with every night, to train and teach how to be a therapy dog, and to be her own little canine best friend.
I thought about this for a long time. We already had plenty of animals living in our home, and I wasn't sure I had the time or energy for one more. But if this was going to be her dog that she took complete responsibility for, I figured it would be OK. So I decided to make a special agreement with Gabrielle.
Generally, I think kids need to demonstrate responsibility in all areas of their life to have a pet of their own. But my daughter was already really responsible in almost everything. She was an A student, she didn't get into trouble, she was helpful and considerate, and she was great with animals.
The only challenge I could come up with for her was the ability to keep her room clean; I think that this is a challenge for almost every teenager. So, this was the deal I made with her: If she kept her room clean for six months without ever being told to clean it up, she could adopt a dog.
Honestly, I didn't think she'd be able to do it. But each day she had me check off her calendar and, in what seemed like an instant, six months of impeccable room cleanliness had transpired!
Gabrielle picked out the sweetest little Pomeranian and named him Kody.
True to her word, she bathed him, brushed him, gave him fresh water and food, walked him, and took him to dog-training classes. Kody was a wiggly, lovable, playful, sweet boy, and he stole everyone's heart.
But, like all the other animals in our house, he became as much of a family pet as one could be, and I definitely ended up with as much responsibility for him as I had for our other critters. In fact, everyone helped raise and care for Kody.
As Gabrielle grew up, graduated from high school and then started college, she was away from home most of the time. Kody looked to me to take his missing mama's place. Whenever I was editing video projects or writing, he would lie right by my feet or would sit in my lap. He followed me everywhere in the house and never let me out of his sight. So, for all of the college years, Kody became my dog.
Still, I understood that eventually, when Gabrielle got her own place, she would take him with her. And that day came after she returned from her honeymoon. I was at work when she stopped by and picked Kody up, so when I returned home that evening, it was a completely different place. It's amazing what a difference one little dog can make to the dynamic of a household.
Now, I certainly don't have an empty nest. I have four other children whose ages range from 9 to almost 21. I also have three cats and a very needy cockatoo. I also must admit that it's nice to not have Pomeranian fur on everything I wear anymore. Yet, when I come home and little Kody doesn't greet me at the door, and his mom is starting a new life in a new home, I can't help but feel a little sad.
"Animal Files" columnist of the Orange County Register; Emmy Award winning producer of Educational Television Programming; Host of "The Pet Place Radio Show" on KGIL AM 1260 & 540 in Los Angeles, Orange, and San Diego Counties; Producer/Director/Editor of the Pet Place TV Show on KDOC TV in Los Angeles and Orange Counties; Wife, and Mother of five kids, three cats, two dogs, and a cockatoo.